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Alicia insisted on grinding the coffee-beans and
making the coffee, to spare Jane’s hands. She brought the tray into the
living-room. When she saw Jane’s hand move to the cafetičre, she said
quietly, “Let me do that for you, Jane.” She quickly poured three cups
of coffee, gesturing to Beau, indicating the cream and sugar.
He shook his head. “No, thank
you. Just black.”
“Same as Alicia and I,” said Jane.
Turning to Alicia, “Next time, you don’t have to put all that stuff on
the tray, Alicia.” Beau noticed that Lise – as he kept thinking of her
– shyly shrugged an elegant shoulder, smiling at his aunt.
Twenty minutes later, Alicia
rose, saying, “High time I went home. I’ve put all the dishes – except
these cups – into your dishwasher, Jane. I know you’re tired, and it
won’t do Beau any harm having an early night and giving his head a
little more rest. But remember, if there should be a recurrence, you
let me know? Good night, Jane. Good night, Beau,” she said softly.
“Let me walk you home, Lise,”
Beau offered impulsively.
“Thank you, Beau, but I’ve got
my car here. I delivered Jane’s grocery-shopping earlier.”
To his surprise, he sensed a
coolness. He wondered if she could’ve picked up vibes from him earlier,
when he was so taken aback at what he felt.
Damn.
“Let me at least see you to
your car,” he insisted, putting his hand under her elbow. He opened the
kitchen door, letting her precede him outside. He moved to her car,
opening the door, holding it for her. She gave him one of her quiet
smiles.
“Thank you, Beau. Good night,”
she said softly. Once she was behind the wheel, he held out his hand to
her, and when she put her fingers into his, he again brought them to his
lips.
“Good night, Lise. And thank
you again for your magic fingers,” he murmured. “Shall I see you
tomorrow?”
Surprised, she gazed at him. When she saw
his eyes change from dark brown to almost black, she said, “I don’t
know, Beau. Surely you’re here to be with your aunt? And – please say
if I was wrong? – I got the impression that you wouldn’t welcome seeing
me again?”
Oh, damn. She did pick up
on those vibes. What can I do now?
He decided to opt for the
truth, or as much of the truth as he could safely afford.
“No, Lise, that isn’t it, not at all.
It’s merely that I’m so deeply involved in research for my present book,
I haven’t a lot of time to devote to personal friendships. That was all
I was thinking. That you deserve better than I’m able to give.”
Slowly, she said, “Thank you for your
honesty, Beau. I guess you won’t want to see me again. Except of
course if your headache should return. Once again – good night,
Beau.”
He felt a strange sensation of
loss, of profound distress overwhelm him, as she looked away from him.
He lifted his hand in protest, saying, “No, Lise, please. I don’t—”
But she started the engine and slowly drove the brief distance to her
own cottage. Uneasily, he was aware that he had, somehow, mishandled
his beginning relationship, whatever it was, with this exceptional
woman, so different from anyone else he had ever met.
He waited until he saw her open her garage
door with some automatic gizmo, and drive into it. He went back into
the kitchen, locking the door behind him, joining his aunt in her
living-room. What will Aunt Jane think?
he wondered.
He need not have worried. Jane did not,
by word or gesture, indicate that he had been rather a long time saying
good night to someone who had her car parked at the back-door.
Quietly, he said, “Aunt Jane, I like your
friend. And I’m so grateful to her for massaging my headache away.
But—”
His aunt said quickly, “Beau, honey, if
you’re still grieving for your wife, believe me, no more will be said,
either by me or by Lise. That’s a pretty name you invented for her.
It’s just that, sometimes, I think perhaps you should try to stop
grieving and find yourself a new life, a new love. Happiness instead of
contentment. Passion instead of sexercise as I heard someone call it on
a TV programme, the other day.”
He smiled a little sadly. “I know, Aunt
Jane. You want me to have more in my life than what I have at present.
But you know me so well – you know I can’t give my heart easily. I
don’t fall in love out of the blue. Never have and, after Felicity
died, I was determined not to. It certainly saves a lot of wear and
tear, don’t you agree? But I’m sorry if you think I treated your
beautiful friend unkindly. That wasn’t my intention. I’ll apologize to
her tomorrow, promise.”
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